A Controversial Take on a Sensitive Subject

Satirical Review by Jared Stamper

December 7, 2018

“Ralph Breaks the Internet.” Although this movie is yet to be released, its message and plot scare me. Imagine you’re a kid, 12 years young. You and your gang of friends are about to go see this wicked cool film about a video game character named Ralph. You get into the theater and start watching Russian propaganda, set out to brainwash you and your friends. To do what, you may ask? That’s the easiest thing to figure out: to break the internet.

Its message and plot scare me.

We can assume that wherever Ralph travels within the internet he breaks the area. Well get this: we know from the trailer that he visits the Disney website. While they don’t go into detail about what happens there, we can make an inference that since authorities of some sort are following them here, that they must have broken something. Is there a bigger symbol of capitalism than Disney? If you haven’t put it together yet, Ralph is breaking the largest American symbol of capitalism there is, and no one is batting an eye. Keep your kids out of these commie brainwashing facilities. This is brain-damaging propaganda. It is harmful to the American way, the American dream, and America itself. Disney are a bunch of Commies, Ralph is a Commie. Let us not fall to these dissidents.

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