Halloween has a good many traditions associated with it – costumes, trick-or-treating, Paganism, you name it. But if there’s one Halloween activity that perhaps outclasses all of those, it’s the watching of movies. Movies, horror movies in particular, have become a Halloween staple over the decades, the greatest ones offering more enjoyment than all the processed cane sugar money can buy. From the scariest thrillers, to the most laughable black comedies, to the uncanny flicks that hover somewhere in between, we at the Rogue News would like to pay our respects.
Missing the Halloween spirit? Here are 5 classic horror movies to bring that chill back to your nights.
#5: IT
This is one of those movies that hovers between “funny” and “scary”. On one hand, Tim Curry is pretty terrifying as a demonic clown. But on the other hand, Tim Curry is downright hilarious as a demonic clown. Either way, the movie based on the Stephen King novel just wouldn’t be the same without him. That is, it would be completely unwatchable.
#4: Manos: The Hands of Fate
Most people who have seen this have only seen the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version. Those people are so yellow-bellied that they buy saffron paste direct from India just so they can rub it all over their distended guts. Real men watch it in its original state. Only then can the four-minute credits sequence without any credits truly sink in.
#3: The Room
This entry is somewhat peculiar, as it’s not really a horror film and it has nothing to do with Halloween. But in terms of sheer camp value, The Room is one of the greatest Halloween godsends to come along since The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Those who disagree have simply not yet learned what it’s like to play football in an alleyway, or get accosted on the rooftop by a drug dealer named Chris R.
#2: Halloween/Friday the 13th/Nightmare on Elm Street
Nothing can beat the classics, especially in regards to the slasher genre. We list these all in the same category because, while they each stand up well enough on their own, as a whole, they deserve to be shotgunned back-to-back in one night. Only then can the arguments about whether Freddy, Jason or Myers would win in a fight get really frothy.
#1: Troll 2
Ladies and gentlemen, the crown jewel. The culmination. Bow before your lumpy master, for he is king. Here we have a film about goblins who go around transforming people into vegetable matter in order to eat them, written in English by two native Italians, shot by an Italian crew who couldn’t communicate with the American actors, containing the most wooden acting this side of a Japanese puppet show. If this were any better, it’d be narrated in Esperanto.
