The Rogue News

Reckoning with Tragedy

January 6, 2019

As the new year approaches and 2018 comes to an end, we are given the opportunity to look back and reflect on the past 12 months. 2018 has seen a number of major tragedies. There have been over 300 mass shootings in the United States since January of this year. The regularity of ma...

Parking in Peril

Sophia Wiencek

January 4, 2019

It’s 8:17 in the morning. I pull into the staff lot and see almost half of the spots sitting there untaken. The two front rows of the Lincoln lot are filled with cars and more continue to file in. It’s a cold morning...

Alex’s Grinch Family Christmas

Alex Brehmer, Writer and artist

January 4, 2019

Christmas isn’t my family’s favorite holiday. I don’t think we have one. Halloween is fun, but even then, we’re not very festive people. We’d much rather spend our time alone in our rooms than gathered together around the yule log, singing carols and making out. This isn’t to say we’re not close. We just all enjoy our respected hobbies a lot. That said, the spirit of Christmas is infectious. So much so, that late December caroling, drinking hot cocoa out of our handmade mugs, performing human sacrifices, and going to church. Around the 20th of December, someone (usually my little sister) points out that we still don’t have a Christmas tree. Frantically, we pull up our fuzzy socks, zip up our sweaters, and tie our scarves nice and tight. It takes a while for our minivan to heat up, and it’s a long drive from my house to the “Christmas-Tree-Sale-Extravaganza” in the parking lot by the freeway exit. By the time we get there, the tree selection is slim. We like it this way! It makes picking the ugliest tree way easier. Our fascination with ugly trees started kind hearted. “We’re going to give this poor, sick, brown bush the merriest Christmas ever!” At least, that’s how we tried to explain it to our littlest sister. She doesn’t understand why we don’t buy the pretty trees, like her friends’ families have. I truly believe it’s because we’d rather make fun of a runty eyesore than actually take the holiday seriously. My dad tells her that it’s because we’re Jewish. We’re not Jewish. When we get home with the tree, we grab the two grey tubs of old, dusty-smelling Christmas decorations. We go through and untangle the tinsel and make fun of my grandma’s hand painted gingerbread men. They are really awful. It’s not truly Christmas though until my dad turns on the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas album on the Bluetooth speaker. My mom hates this album. She’s always hated it. The shrill cries of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore make her ears bleed. Every year, she begs my dad to turn it off. Every year, my dad reminds her that it is the ONE Christmas tradition we have. My sisters and I sit in front of the tree and pretend to inspect the same ornaments we’ve had since 2004. If we make eye contact with our mom, my dad will think we don’t like the music, and it will break his heart. If we make eye contact with our dad, our mom will take it as a sign of aggression against her. No one wants that. Right around Jingle Bell Rock, the room becomes too tense, and my dad turns the music off. Then my dad makes cookies, and we gather around the T.V. for a late night showing of the National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It gets less politically correct every year. When it gets too offensive, we watch Bob’s Burgers. Then we go to bed. ...

Stop Mele Kaliki-Mocking

Zeleyha Mata

January 4, 2019

Most people think that Christmas in Hawaii is drastically different. If you’re one of those people, I’m here to tell you that whatever you imagine is definitely reaching. We don’t, as my dad so beautifully put it,...

Al’s Thanksgiving Tips & Tricks

Alex Brehmer, Artist

December 13, 2018

A message from the artist: “When in doubt, nap it out. My one and only party tip is this: turn off the lights in the bathroom, sit on the cold shower floor. It’s okay to cry. I do this at all birthday parties, weddings, and...

Gourdoscopes

Grace Schroder and Charlotte Julian

December 13, 2018

Aries: Like the delicata squash, Aries are bold and ambitious. The delicata squash has enthusiastic green stripes and an honest taste, which fits with the enthusiasm and honesty that Aries have. They both need to be cared f...

More Than a Mass Shooting

December 13, 2018

Will the Real Thanksgiving Please Stand Up?

Novia Wetzel

December 7, 2018

Thanksgiving — A cheerful holiday where family members all crowd around the dinner table and try not to kill each other over political drama while stuffing themselves silly with turkey meat. Thanksgiving wasn’t always like...

Alternate View on Thanksgiving

Ayla Foust

December 5, 2018

As Thanksgiving approaches, America is preparing with turkeys, trips and traditions. However there is more to the Thanksgiving story that is often overlooked. Some schools have been known to teach students the tall-tale version...

Never Too Early to Deck the Halls

Grace Johnson

December 5, 2018

Bear with me here, but autumn means nothing to me. Is that a little harsh? Maybe… but in my eyes, it is simply the last season before it’s considered “appropriate” to bump Mele Kalikimaka and bake something that’s not...

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