Flappy Bird: A Pixelated Revolution

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The Flappy Bird craze that is sweeping both the nation and the App Store has finally reached Ashland High School.

The game, which is deceptively simple, involves maneuvering a pixelated, vaguely bird-like blob through a series of bright green pipes. Though the concept sounds quite easy, the game is actually infuriatingly difficult. Every tap of the screen propels the bird upward, however, a single touch from one if the pipes sends the bird spiraling to its doom.

While some elite Flappy Bird players have seemingly mastered the game, scoring hundreds of points, the average player will find it difficult to score so many as five. Many players have searched for any kind of hint that will enhance their playing skills, but few have found one.

Tim Kiesling of Ashland High School has achieved an impressive score of 142 points. “I am a God,” says Kiesling. He recommends rotating your device to a horizontal position, so it seems as though the evil little bird is flying upward. It may take some getting used to, but this tip is sure to improve those scores!

Flappy Bird, for others, has become an obsession. The competition for the highest score has resulted in many adverse effects, such as loss of sleep, negative impact on grades, *carpal tunnel syndrome, *retina detachment, *hair loss and even *brain hemorrhage.

“Before Flappy Bird, I had a life,” said Julian Feldman.

“Every single minute I have free, I’m like ‘I gotta play Flappy Bird’,” proclaimed Payton Onesti.

These are just a few of the many sad cases of Flappy Bird addiction that have been plaguing the country in the last couple weeks.

The developer of the popular game, Nguyen Ha Dong, has experienced a massive boost in fame over the past month. A little-known developer based in Hanoi, Vietnam, Ha Dong has shot to the top of the App Store charts, with Flappy Bird in the number-one slot, and two of his other apps in the top ten as well.

“I don’t know how my games can be so popular,” says Ha Dong. “Most of my players are kids in schools. I would like to thank them for playing my game and sharing it [with] other people.”

The game has since been removed from the App Store by the developer as a result of the mass frustration that surrounds the app. The game itself has become a valuable vintage accessory to many people who have not deleted it, some selling their devices, with Flappy Bird installed, for up to two-hundred percent value.

Flappy Bird, although designed with difficulty in mind, is incredibly addicting. Hundreds of thousands of players are still glued to their device, unable to break the deadly Flappy Bird cycle. With the whole of the nation at his fingertips, Ha Dong has effectively created a yellow, pixelated revolution.

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