The Six Types of Students


    It may occasionally feel as though highschool is a great push to conform and meld into a single personality.  However, this is far from the truth.  Not all students are the same and equal, they’re in fact separated into six different types, each with his or her own characteristics and qualities.


The first of the six is the Sloucher.  The recreational Sloucher can usually be observed Mondays and Fridays or in any particular boring class.  The more habitual Slouch assumes its namesake posture no matter what the occasion, Monday through Friday.



The next type is less common but there is usually one per class:  the Hardworker. The Harkworker’s posture is usually no better than the Sloucher but instead of sliding far down into a seat to brood, the Hardworker hunches forward over their desk, vigorously working on whatever task at hand.  This student can usually be easy to spot by the dark looks cast by surrounding students.



Another familiar student to many is the Texter.  A single class is bound to have more than five at one time.  Many consider slouching to be a gateway posture to texting as the position necessary to making texting as overt as possible is a natural progression of slouching.  The common delusion of the Texter is that they think they are in someway quick-witted about their communication.  There is, however, the simple fact that no matter the shape a student attempts to contort his or herself, his or her eyes are still locked resolutely downwards.  It’s not difficult for a teacher to discern between looking down to focus on the current work and looking down because you’re cleverly hidden your phone among your binder and papers.



Next up is the Distracted.  The Texter is, of course, a subset of the Distracted.  However, a distracted student is far from limited to just cellular distractions.  Second to phones, a student will be distracted by a simple case of boredom.  Once material stops being immediately engaging, a student’s eyes will begin to drift up to wall decorations already stared at ten times over.  Soon after eyes begin to wander those same eyes start to glaze  and the catatonic mind sets in.  Side effects of this condition include jolting to attention and recalling nothing from the past ten minutes, and momentarily scribbling a note before drifting away.



An integral part of the circle of class time distraction is the Distractor.  This child is loud.  This child is annoying.  This child throws things.  This child is the scourge of classroom.  Activities of the Distractor include the aforementioned throwing of things, talking loudly, and of course a disquieting love of being the center of attention.  “No attention is bad attention!” (or something to that effect)  They cry out halfway through a lesson, or even during reading time.  Either way, their sense of time is very far off.



The last of the six is the Resigned.  Most common among upperclassmen, this student has realized that there isn’t a way to beat the US educational system so they dutifully slog through any homework or tests provided.  They realize that weekdays are not days for any kind of fun to exist so Monday through Friday they plod in a grey-eyed, educational march through the rigors of public schooling.  To them creativity is a method of not doing necessary work so any open questions are tackled with a cold and analytical thought process.  Creative essays are delegated to efficiency, a place where original thought is a waste of time so storylines are executed and character arcs are calculated.  This student  may awaken from the dull world of efficiency briefly during the Summer months but the individual thought is buried deep.


Next time you find yourself in class with your brain beginning to numb over don’t reach for your pocket.  Instead look around and see if you can spot all these six types of student.